


you don't have to do it (alone)

by Alexgalaxies



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Episode AU: s12e10 The Timeless Children, Episode: s12e10 The Timeless Children, F/F, Recklessness, Self-Doubt, Self-Sacrifice, admission of feelings, mostly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:34:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23182564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexgalaxies/pseuds/Alexgalaxies
Summary: What if Yaz hadn't stayed on the TARDIS? What if she didn't fly away with the rest of the humans? What if the Doctor didn't have to stand against the Master alone?Or Yaz does the most reckless thing she has ever done.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor & Yasmin Khan, Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 68





	you don't have to do it (alone)

Yaz felt her feet moving before her brain had time to process it. She was exiting the TARDIS. Running to her, the Doctor,  _ her person _ . Everyone had protested but it was just background noise. And before she could give changing her mind a second thought, it was too late. Halfway down the hallway, the immense distance between her and the other humans was felt. The ship had departed. They were gone, and she was here to face her decision alone. That was until she got to her destination.

Yaz rushed down the hallways back into the main room. The Doctor had the bomb in hand, her thumb hovering over the red button. The Master was close urging her to press it. “No! Stop!” She ran down the steps to the Doctor.

The Doctor’s eyebrows lowered themselves into a scowl. “Yaz?” It was a look of disbelief and horror. Yaz was supposed to be on the TARDIS with the rest of the Fam and the other humans. She was here, and that ship had to be long gone by now. Her mind raced, she couldn’t fix this, she couldn’t save Yaz.

The Master backed away laughing. “Oh isn’t this delicious Doctor,” He clapped a couple of slow claps. “Your little  _ pet _ is here,” He sneered.

She felt anger bubbling inside her. Yaz had understood, hadn’t she? The Doctor wasn’t going to come back from this. She couldn’t come back from this. This  _ would _ kill her. Now it would kill both of them. “What are you doing here?” The fear and anger were evident in her voice.

Yaz shook her head. “I couldn’t let you do this alone,” She rested a hand on the Doctor’s which was now trembling. 

The Master made a gagging sound. “Disgusting, you still care about her after everything she has done? What she was about to do?” He tilted his head, focusing on Yaz. “She was going to  _ kill _ ,”

Yaz glared at him. Her voice became serious. “You left her no choice,” She spat. Her anger was present. How dare he blame this mess on the Doctor. She knew the Doctor wouldn’t be doing this if she weren’t forced into it.

As if reading her mind he spoke again. “Oh, now, that’s not true. You  _ really _ believe that?” He stepped closer to her. The Doctor stepped in front of Yaz, shielding her. He pondered his words carefully, considering how to dumb everything down so that a human could understand. “ _ She  _ is the reason this is all happening,” He turned his head, looking the Doctor in her eyes. “How does it feel Doctor?” he paused, waiting for a response that didn’t come. He couldn’t resist taunting the Doctor more. “All of this is your fault. Now what? You’re going to do what I did? Kill the timelords. What’s left of them at least,” he shrugged. He took some excited steps forward and back. “You’re going to kill both of us in the process? No more time lords, a whole species, gone again, you won’t be the last one. Full genocide on this planet. And as an added bonus, you’re going to kill your precious human in the process,” He reached a hand over the Doctor’s shoulder, reaching for Yaz.

She shoved his arm away from them. “Don’t touch her,” She couldn’t help the volume of her voice. Her quiet rage wasn’t sustainable.

He flinched backward. “Do you love her?” he looked disgusted. There was a hint of jealousy in his demeanor. “How pathetic?” He shrugged, shaking his head with disapproval. “Does she even know anything about you? Would she care about you if she knew everything? Or would she be afraid of you?” He smiled, seeing Yaz’s expression, it seemed worried about what he’d say next.

The Doctor gave him a pleading look. “Please don’t,” She shook her head almost imperceptibly.

He laughed. “No, I’m gonna. I said she is the reason all of this happened, and it’s true. Isn't that right Doc?” He was going to try to ruin the Doctor for Yaz, hurt the Doctor as well, but mostly to get the Doctor even lower. To press  _ that button _ . “You were destined for this, all of this. The destruction, look at everything you’ve done, even you hide it. No one could ever truly love you. Your own parents didn’t even want you. They abandoned you. Then the woman who found you took  _ pity  _ on a helpless child,” He searched her eyes looking for a sign of her brokenness.

The Doctor turned away from him. His words hurt, she had had no time to think about the knowledge she just gained. All she could do is push past it, but now he was forcing her to face the situation and making Yaz watch. She worried about what Yaz could possibly be thinking.

He lavished in her despair. He continued. “She only cared about you because she could exploit you,  _ use _ you for her own gain. Then what? You were discarded. You were manipulated, to create everything you hated about the Timelords,” He paused. “Think of all of the death they caused. You were a project to them, they took from you, stole from  _ you  _ and caused so much pain. In your name Doctor! The suffering they instilled upon others, because of you,” He blinked at her. “ _ I _ came from you. Now, I get to go destroy the universe you swore to protect. I made these creatures for that sole purpose. How does it  _ feel _ ? To know all of the death will be in your name and there is nothing you can do to stop it,” He was smiling, reveling in the knowledge he would be able to finally best the Doctor. “You can’t even stop me. You’re weak. You’re absolutely pathetic, cowardly, and now the universe suffers because of it- Or maybe you do it, and we all die in your name, kill your childhood friend,” he pouted, mocking her. “And her blood on your hands.” He pointed at Yaz. 

The Doctor felt a couple of tears stream down her cheeks. Everything was so heavy. The new realizations. The fact that the only way to keep everyone safe was for her to stoop down to  _ his _ level. She had to kill the timelords again, him and herself included, to save the rest of the universe. And Yaz, a human who should have never set foot on Gallifrey, a person she cared so deeply for. Her thumb stayed hovering over the button. Her eyes were glued to the red button. It was quiet contemplation. She was trembling, everything hurt, she was so tired. Maybe if she waited, just a little bit longer, she could work out a plan to fix everything. Maybe, just maybe...

She stepped passed the Doctor. “You’re wrong,” Yaz spoke up. She reached for the Doctor’s unoccupied hand and held it. “The Doctor isn’t like you-”

The Master cut her off. “Tell you what Doctor, if you don’t press that button, I’ll keep your pretty little companion safe,” He offered. It was a bargaining chip, yet another manipulation.

She glanced up at him almost considering the offer. It was selfish, she knew, but none of this was Yaz’s fault. Yaz didn’t deserve a death like this. But she knew this was just temptation, Yaz wouldn’t ever be promised safety from him or the destruction he intended to cause.

Yaz raised her voice, seeing the Doctor actually consider the offer, and because getting cut off had irritated her. “No, neither of you get to make that choice, I got myself into this. I am here for the Doctor, no matter what happens.” She stood her ground, even if this killed her, she would be there for this woman. She wouldn’t let her go through with it alone, no one deserved to go through this alone. “She isn’t like you, she wouldn’t do this if she didn’t have to. This is all your fault, The Doctor isn’t to blame for things that were out of her control,” Yaz swallowed. “She is magnificent and kind, and never let’s the worst outcome happen if she can help it. She tries to fix things, not break them,” Yaz’s eyes were intense and the Master’s were just as intense back, but she held her position never wavering. “She doesn’t deserve to go through this alone,”

//

Ko Sharmus had saved them, all it took was the hesitation. The Doctor had no way of knowing whether she would have pressed that button if she hadn’t waited, or if she would have at all since Yaz was there, or if Yaz had been the saving grace of it all and were the reason she hesitated just long enough. Either way, there was a sort of comfort in Yaz being there for her. She shoved down any anger she had at the situation and covered it with the relief that this was all over. The knowledge that Yaz was willing to die just to stand by her side was too much at once to deal with right now, it would be best dealt with another time.

They were together, in the white interior TARDIS. The Doctor had stolen yet another one, but was it really stealing if there were no owner? Or anyone left to own it? Neither of the two dwelled on that, it didn’t really matter. They just focused on getting back home, finally a break from all this madness, they needed to process everything they had been through.

Yaz was the one to break the silence. “Doctor, you know none of what he said is true right?” She was sitting on the floor waiting for the Doctor to program everything into the console. “I wasn’t lying earlier, what happened to you wasn’t your fault,” She looked up to see the Doctor frozen at the console. “You’re not unworthy of love, and there are people out there who do love you and need you,” The Doctor turned to look at Yaz. She had been staring at the blonde for at least a few minutes. Yaz considered her next words carefully. “And I’m not just saying it because I love you, or want you, or because the rest of the Fam loves you too, for that matter,”

The Doctor’s eyebrows displayed her confusion. Yaz’s statement was a lot to unpack but right now wasn’t the time for it all. Not just yet. “How can you know?” Her expression grew sadder as the seconds ticked on, she doubted what Yaz was saying. That self-deprecation in the form of the Master’s voice was overwhelming her.

Yaz was more than ready to ease the Doctor’s worries. “Because I have seen some amazing things, Doctor, you have saved so many, even more than you’ve said or done in front of us,” She loved the Doctor and cared about her so much that saying these things were some of the easiest things she had ever said.

“That still doesn’t explain,” She dismissed herself. Every day, saving people, it had become a routine. It was one she had nearly forgotten affected the people she had saved, especially the humans who just forgot and decided to ignore the alien threats.

Yaz squinted in disbelief. Then she smiled. “I could call it intuition, for as long as you’ve been alive it’s hard to imagine you haven’t saved even more people, but I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you I have been doing some reading in the library in the TARDIS,”

The Doctor’s eyes widened. “No,” No one ever did that, she had left some books out… ones that weren’t meant to be read by certain people. That was part of the reason she had them, so no one else would read them. 

Yaz nodded. “Yes, and you’ve done so many amazing things, so many people saved, so many worlds are better off because of you,” her expression was one of frustration. The Doctor still didn’t see herself and her life the way so many others did.

The Doctor lowered her head. “Then you must know of the people I’ve hurt as well,” It was very Doctor-y to focus on the negatives… but normally she was so positive, this was just a new normal.

Yaz ignored the Doctor’s pessimism. She stood up and walked over to the blonde. She made the Doctor meet her gaze. “I know you, you wouldn’t have done it if you didn’t have to, and anything beyond that, it wasn’t  _ you _ .  _ You  _ are the Doctor and you are brilliant,” She took the Doctor’s hands in her own. There were tears threatening to spill from the Doctor’s eyes. “Either way, your past doesn’t have to define you, like you said, you are so much more now that you know some new things but it doesn’t dictate the kind of person you can be or the kind of person you  _ are _ ,”

  
The Doctor found herself being pulled into a hug. She trembled in the embrace. The Doctor hadn’t realized just how badly she needed it, all of it, she needed the comfort Yaz was providing. She returned the hug, burying her had into Yaz’s shoulder. She let her tears spill over, it was a mixture of sadness and relief. The voice had finally been forced out of her head, staved off for now, but at least she had Yaz. Yaz’s words didn’t heal all of her wounds but maybe it would be a start. And she knew Yaz would never let her forget everything she had just told her.  _ To be cared about by Yasmin Khan. _ It was absolutely magnificent.


End file.
